Mediation
by larissa
The Facebook-Timeline
Dear audience,
now it is certain – every Facebook user has to use the “Timeline”.
And through this there are positive, but also many negative aspects. Your whole history on this social network will be apparent, pictures and status-massenges will be visible again. To hide or delete those, you have seven days up from the point of time you acceptet to use the timeline. You can also create a cover picture and arragange your profile to express your personality, but maybe exactly this raises a problem for many users, since they do not want to reveal that much about themselves. The privacy-setting will be nearly the same, and you can still hide pictures and the like from strangers. However, overall the main problem is the obligation to make use of the chronicle and that you can not switch back.The website Insidefacebook.com founds 16 fraudulent pages, on which you can found options to allegedly revoke the chronicle.
Resumed we can come to the conclusion that there are changes, which a great number refuses.
Thank you for listening.
larissa 
Hey Larissa,
You did find all important information that was given in the text.
– At the beginning I would write “certain” instead of “secure”
– arrange you[r] profile
– describe a problem?
– Try to avoid writing too long sentences, because it makes it difficult to understand what you want to say.
– Instead of using “but” at the beginning of a sentence, you could use “However,”
– try to use more linking words
well done content-wise. You could have structured the text in paragraphs to make it easier to follow.
language-wise:
Pauline is right, don’t use secure here, use certain or assured. Secure is used more in the sense of feeling secure in situations or at home or a network can be secure.
to raise / to create a problem
careful: All in all, …
Kn